Hello all,
Sorry it's been so long since my last post. I've been so busy I seem to have forgotten that I started a blog. A few things have happened over the past few months that have really irked me and got me thinking. Namely, myself and my children have been "unfriended" on Facebook. Should we take it so personally when someone unfriends? After all I'm guilty of this too. However, when I unfriend someone it's usually because I don't like reading their offensive and/or inappropriate posts. So I guess in writing this I may be a hypocrite, which is the one thing I try my hardest not to be.
However, the instances where my children and I have been unfriended are a result of something happening in the "real world". Instead of these people coming to us and discussing/working through the problem, they unfriend, then blatantly ignore us in public. So I take it once you unfriend someone on Facebook, that automatically makes them invisible in real life?! Hopefully I don't start to actually disappear like Marty McFly in Back to the Future!
I do have to commend my daughter as she sent one of these unfrienders a message asking why, and she actually got a response. Although she stated her case quite maturely, the response was still "a decision has been made". Sorry to be slightly vague, but there are identities, both real and virtual to protect! In one of my cases, I was simply trying to be a friend for someone going through a difficult time and apparently his wife did not like this. Long story short I guess I can see where she was coming from, however, my husband was aware of this friendship from the very start and when I told her I would respect her wishes, she still felt the need to not only "unfriend" me, but to also block me. Which I guess truly makes us invisible. After all if we can't be found on Facebook then we don't truly exist, do we?! In this case, not only was I unfriended, but so was my son, which doesn't really make sense to me. Now to stop rambling.
I also find it amazingly unbelievable when people have more than, oh let's say 500 friends on Facebook. Does it make them feel special? More accomplished? etc.. Now I know there are exceptions to this rule, I do have friends who either use their Facebook page as business, and I have friends who have moved around alot for various reasons and really truly know at least 500 people that they truly want to stay in touch with. I also have some friends who have "game friends" on Facebook. But, you can tell which ones have "friends" just to see how high the number goes.
What business is this of mine? I guess none, but it does go back to my point of friending and unfriending. Do we assess our value based upon the number of Facebook friends we have? Do we start to fade away when we are unfriended? And what's with the people from high school who either never had time for us or were cruel to us suddenly wanting to be our Facebook friend? I guess what I'm trying to say is if I'm not willing to hang out with you in person, you're not going to be my Facebook friend. Hmmmm, maybe this is why people "unfriend", but still, before Facebook what did we do when a friend hurt us or there was a misunderstanding? It's too easy nowadays. The convenience of technology has replaced proper manners. My children don't understand why I say no computer, texting, or phone after 9pm. I try to explain that it's rooted in common courtesy, that back in the day before computers and cell phones, the common rule was no phone calls after 9pm, because it was late and considered rude to cause someones phone to ring at that hour of the night. I should also note that in spell checking this document, my spel check does not like the word "texting" lol.
O.k., I know I got a little off topic there, but I'm spiderwebbing my way back around. It all goes back to technology making it much easier to be rude, crude, and spineless. If you have a problem with someone have the guts and courtesy to process your feelings with them in person, rather than letting Facebook do it for you!
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Hey Val! I didnt know you had a blog.
ReplyDeleteI do think some people compete to see how many facebook friends they can get....Its crazy when people have hundreds and hundreds of friends. How do they read all that stuff anyway?
Many forget that they have an offense with someone they should approach them privately. Blessed is the man who can overlook an offense the Bible says. Yet, too many want to build a grudge stool and perch on it forever. Sadly, sitting on their duffs doesn't get them far anytime fast. Our pastor once said, "You can sit on the pity potty as long as you don't get ring around the hinny (sp?)." I love the visual that creates! We too quickly take offenses and let it destroy our friendships because we can hide behind the computer screen and not face people in person anymore. I have to agree with your blog 110%.
ReplyDeleteWell, call me an old fuddy duddy...that's what my folks would have said 'back in the day'. Speaking of 'back in the day' if you had a problem with a 'friend' you just quit calling or writing letters (same concept). But if you really are a 'friend'you would try to solve the problem/s between yourselves instead of using the cowardly way out of not talking about the problem...just de-friending. I totally agree with your post. Unfortunately, today's technology makes it too easy to not face the real world. Remember what I used to say (and still do) "your 'friends' know the real you and if they turn against you...they weren't your 'friends' to begin with".
ReplyDeleteAnd here I thought my mom would probably take credit for raising me right and instead she tries to make me feel better by quoting what she always used to say to me. She's right, your true friends know all your faults and still like you and if they don't want to work through things then they were never your friend. Now with that said, I wasn't necessarily looking for reassurance, just pointing out a few things that get me a little riled up :)
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